Let me start off by saying that I am grateful that you are checking out my blog. I’m BT Bonner and today I’m feeling so free to just be me and I hope that everyone watching/listening/engaging with this site are feeling free to be yourselves as well.
Now…
We all want something.
We are all craving something in our lives. Hoping to piece together an end result that matches the vision that you have in your head, as well as the feeling that you are hoping to get from it in your heart, because as you know in your heart is where your blessings live.
But sometimes I can’t help but feel like the steps that we take to get there are so forced, so contrived to the point where we are becoming, or have already become,
subservient to our own ambitions. So much that our ambitions are controlling us
as opposed to us directing their ebbs and flows.
Let me add some clarity because this is a pretty rough narrative. When we desire something we subconsciously create a blueprint in our mind and we say that this is what we want, and this is what we need to do to go about obtaining it.
If you want to take a trip to Spain, you mentally assess what it is going to take for you to get there. The steps that you need to put in place, from getting a passport, perhaps saving money, requesting time off from work, arranging child care…whatever your reality dictates necessary for you to make that come to fruition. I’ve always considered this all part of the goal-setting process. But what happens when you have to do so much that it becomes too much of an undertaking?
Far beyond the obvious?
Far beyond the necessary?
So much that it takes you out of alignment with your idea of happiness.
Let me explain.
I’m a working class guy as I am sure many of you are working people. Giving so much of yourself to someone in order to take care of yourself and your family right?
In order to survive. To secure a place to stay, provide food to eat, even down to putting gas in your car. All of these things are the sources of our time sacrifices.
We give away a portion of our lives so that we ensure that that wheel keeping turning for us.
Some people call it adulting, others call it survival.
Whatever the case. Hopefully our goal is to put systems in place so that you can one day escape that way of life. But until then, we live, we work, and we balance work into our lives. Our work/life balance.
I wont go deep into that because we all know that our time is considerably more valuable that what employers pay us, yet we give up our time, and we do what we must.
The Math:
8 hours out of 24 is a third of our day, hence a third of our lives
we are left with 16 hours in a day to figure shit out and work on our goals, sleep, eat, love, travel, have experiences, nurture relationships, explore our hobbies, and do our self-care.
Basically…everything else is tied into that little bit of time. So with that being the case, it is imperative that we make hard choices about how we are spending that other 16 hours and use it as constructively as possible based on what we need to do to get our goals accomplished?
But can we realistically accomplish our goals based on the way that we currently live?
Is it even feasible? If not, then real question becomes are we fooling ourselves?
What do you do when the things that you HAVE to do consume so much of your time that it makes it feel impossible to do the things that you WANT to do?
The goals that you set for yourself, for your life, for your family, for your future self?
It can be tough, and it can feel frustrating…and yes at time it can feel impossible.
I believe that instead of trying to fit a ridiculously full schedule into a small time slot, we need to slow down.
I know what you’re saying…
You are not trying to slow down because you’re trying to get all of these things done.
You have an expiration date Right? I get it. So do I. But the more you pile on your back, the more you abuse yourself mentally and physically, the less happier you are in the now and the less happier you will be in the future.
Its like this…
The less time that you spend slowing down, working on yourself, connecting with yourself, the less capable you are of getting things done.
Breathe for a second…because that’s deep…let that sync in.
in for a second…
There was a time when I would try to shoot my YouTube videos after a 14-hour work day and I thought that I was being productive. But I grew to realize that I was taking all of the joy out of something that was supposed to be fulfilling just to feel accomplished. I realize now that that was foolish, and toxic as f*ck.
Not only was I not getting the work done to my satisfaction, I wasn’t eating well.
I wasn’t eating enough to keep a damn bird alive. I wasn’t getting adequate rest.
My sleep patterns were all over the place. I was neglecting the people that I care about. But I wasn’t trying to stop! I wasn’t trying to smell the roses.
Long story short, I eventually hit a wall both physically and mentally. I was not living well.
So my question to you is..
What are you willing to sacrifice for your goals?
I’ll tell you this, if you have ever been sick, the only thing that you want in that moment is to be well again.
Think about it, 400 years ago black people were slaves, falling over dead in the middle of hot ass cotton fields. And even to this day, despite the fact that the physical shackles are gone, well unless you’re incarcerated, but the mental shackles we still carry. Everyday we are still falling dead at the hands of those who employ us, and even worse is the fact that we are giving them the permission to do it to us.
Im not saying that we shouldn’t work. What I’m saying is that we are so much better than that. We are so much more valuable than that. We are not put here to bargain our lives away, and definitely not to do it so cheaply.
There is someone out in the world right now, broke and lost, who would give a kidney for a good price, and say, hell, as long as I have one, I’ll be ok. At least I have some money. But there is someone else out here with a bad one waiting for someone to die or donate a matching one.
Trust me when I tell you that I have seen that first hand.
My friends, we are here to learn and grow, and experience life, and fulfill our God-given purpose. Anything other than that is not goal setting…it’s not grinding…it’s punishment.
I had to take a step back.
I had to ground myself and realize that I was doing more harm to myself than actually accomplishing my goals.
I mean…think about it.
You set up these goals with the hope of improving your quality of life, and instead you are trying to improve your quality of life by introducing stress, by introducing physical pain, by introducing high level anxiety, high levels of self-abuse, and tragically missing out on the beauty of the steps of your journey.
It doesn’t get more backwards than that.
I run marathons.
But if every single mile of that run was torturous and unbearable, I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy running in the first place. You see, all of these are examples of toxic productivity. Toxic productivity is real and its hidden behind ambition. But you can be productive without working yourself to death. Take your time and figure out a process that will allow you to use your time more effectively.
Of course everyone’s process in doing this will look different because everyone’s goals are different, and the journey that we take to get there is different for everyone.
I had to prioritize some things over others, eliminate some things, and in some cases take back my time from people who had gotten so used to calling upon me for their needs. I don’t want to imply that I have it all figured out because that is not the case.
But I am in a comfortable place in my life. I’m happy with the steps that I’m taking along my journey, and that is what I hope for everyone reading…
or watching.
Full Video here:
Today…I’m grateful for all that I have, and I’m grateful for you.
And that’s enough for today.
I’m BT Bonner and I’m Free To Be Over 50.
Peace
I'm Free To Be Over 50 